Friday Snippet #40

Koi out of waterI won’t comment on the weather. It’s raining now, but I can’t remember about the rest of the week.  Other than editing, and waiting for some more editing coming my way, I spent the last seven days working on the lecture. I’ve been recording myself and I have mixed feelings about my performance. I tend to eat words a lot and I haven’t been able to recite the whole speech without humming and hemming between one slide and the next. Yesterday, I stopped making any sense after the seventh try. Also, after a spell of insomnia, I decided to avoid coffee for a week and see what happens. First day of the experiment. So far, I’ve tried to put clean dishes in the fridge, ate three five times what I would have any other day, and I have a huge headache. Also, I took a break from writing this post to go downstairs and eat some more…

From All the Rainbow’s Colors,

My day ends as it started, with my nose against the cold window’s panel. The apartments in the building complex in front of mine are all illuminated. The lady in pink hasn’t come home yet, but there is a man I’ve never seen in her living room. He’s arranging long stemmed red roses in a tall vase. The man is so pink he’s almost red like the roses. Who knows what it feels to be that shade of pink? I have no clues.

In the next apartment, a family of five, mother, dad, and three small kids, is preparing for the usual reading time ritual before bed. Every night, the father tucks the kids in their tiny beds, and read a tale from the same old, battered book. He must know every word of that book by heart. He smiles, always. The man is lucky, because he’s not cursed like me. He doesn’t see that his youngest child has the same green shade of his mom, but his orange comes from a family friend, who visits the house a lot. And so the dad is happy.

I am forced to know. Since it started, two years ago, people’s feelings are no secret to me. And what it makes this whole situation even worse is that I can’t do without colors. Literally. I hate them, and I can’t survive without them.

Friday Snippet #40

Friday Snippet #37

Zen Moment

And here I am. Again. Sunny! All in all, another great week. Last Sunday, I posted my first video on YouTube. It was only possible thanks to my hubbie who patiently shot the video and then cut it and made it pretty. I’ll let you know that I look fat, but my accent is exactly right, and it was a surprise for a friend. In other news, I’m still exercising or walking every day, and I feel full of energy. Meanwhile, sales of my books have slowed down as expected, but I reached 51 paid downloads and that’s another new record. Plus, I’ve added a few drawings to my didlr page.

From All the Rainbow’s Colors:

By lunch time, I’m starving. I hide in the backyard, hoping nobody is going to find me, but there’s a couple sitting on my bench. From a distance, I can only see a pink cloud happily floating, but as I walk closer, some purple appears. Normally, I would leave them alone, but today I don’t feel magnanimous.

“Hi, Rachel. Hi, Matthew.” I sit on the bench, forcing them to scoop over.

“The backyard is big,” my sister points out.

“Hi, there, Ludmilla,” says Matthew, smiling his fake smile.

Everyone knows I hate being called by my name. Everybody. It’s moment like this, when I feel the urge of telling Rachel that Matthew doesn’t care for her. But, I would only be mean to her, and she wouldn’t believe me, anyway. Nobody would believe me.

“I normally seat here,” I answer my sister.

“Yes, but there is a bench over there.” Rachel is trying to be nice about it.

“I prefer this one, but thank you.” Maybe, just maybe, if Matthew hadn’t called me Ludmilla, I would’ve left.

“You are too… odd,” Rachel says, but she gets up and leaves, with boyfriend in tow.

“Thanks,” I answer to what she said, not to the fact that they are leaving.

It is true. I am odd. At the beginning, when everything started two years ago, I got scared. I was fourteen, and the colors used to give me horrible headaches. The army of doctors my parents contacted told me I don’t suffer from migraines. I’m not that sure, since I’m the one feeling the pain, not them. After countless hours of useless tests, the last specialist, a big-name professor who flew from another district, took a look at my brain, and said, “I have never seen anything like this.” And nothing else, just like that. No explanation whatsoever of why I see the colors.

Friday Snippet #37