Omnivorous Serial ECReaders: A Race Not in Any Danger of Extinction

P1020407The ECReader’s life is hell on heart. Nobody can really understand the horrors he/she is forced to endure every day. The ECRS is a freshly discovered syndrome, and as such hugely underestimated. I have decided to shed some light on the matter and clarify the way ECReaders are classified. I will try to categorize the different types of ECReaders as best as I can (depending on which way my inspiration leans). Today I will describe the most common type: the omnivorous serial. Keep in mind, gentle and discriminate reader (yes I know, it’s always you I am talking to) that the average ECReader is everything, but discriminate about his/her reading habits. The ECReader is normally omnivorous by definition. Anything goes. Today can be romance (every reference is purely random), tomorrow can be speculative science fiction, next week it’s going to be fan fiction, a month from now the ECReader will have finished the whole body of work of some unknown Monica La Porta (just saying), while at the same time passing through the enlightening and funny biography of a shoe seller (Tony, I didn’t find happiness since I hadn’t lost it to begin with, but thank you for the ride). The ECReader must find his/her fix wherever. The ECReader can’t afford to be picky, therefore he/she is omnivorous. Having the ECRS is also conducive to being a serial reader. Once the omnivorous ECReader finds an author of his/her liking, the poor addict, already starving for more of the same,  immediately seeks any scrap of paper published by the aforementioned writer. The ECReader is a collector at heart, and can’t sleep at night knowing that his/her library( aka the traveling stack of beloved paperbacks which doesn’t seem to find peace on earth—but mostly inside the house) is missing an important piece. Although the syndrome can be quite expensive to treat, and life is unfair—no insurance pays for the Amazon bills (the ECRS Foundation is working on that)—there are little subterfuges that help relieving the strain on the domestic finances. One of those lifesavers is renting books from the nearby Public Library. Another is swapping books between friends, but depending on the level of ECRSism (new term I am testing here for the first time) is not always recommended. Borrowing and lending books can be an alternative only among the lighter ECReaders. As you can see, there are several branches of the ECRS that need to be further studied. I promise to give the problem the importance it deserves ( in other words, it takes some time and effort by my side to invent things). I will be back with new and improved terms, and even more wonderful ,fantastic  (read the adjective as in: detached from reality; not as in : awesome), psychedelic (that’s what I was looking for), theories. Be tuned. And drink some tea. Always drink some tea when in doubt.

Omnivorous Serial ECReaders: A Race Not in Any Danger of Extinction

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